Black Streak on My Highlighter
Black Streak on My Highlighter
Have you ever wondered why
There is black, smudged
On the tip of your highlighter?
Or why it creeps onto the next line?
Dry Erase Crumbs
I wanted to organize
Tomorrow
On my whiteboard.
I went to erase today
and a trail of black crumbs
stuck against the white
and powdered my fingertips.
High School Backpack
With both straps hugging my shoulders
My high school backpack
tolerated the loose lined paper
And bulky binders.
I’ve since switched
To notebooks and folders
Sweatshirt Money
There is nothing like
Putting on an old sweatshirt
And finding a crumpled bill.
Though a happy twenty makes my day,
A single gets a smile
A Gummy Desk
I just leaned on the desk
To help me stand after a long class,
But I touched dried gum
And am now trying to not think
About where it's been
Tear Stained Glasses
If you’ve ever had the experience
Of crying while wearing glasses
You understand
Washing dried up saltwater
From lenses
Is more effort than it's worth
In this poem, you've devoted yourself entirely to description. You completely envisioned the thing being described in your mind, and painted it so vividly. It's these small things that we all have in common: we can't necessarily relate to personal sentiments or views on things, but when someone mentions dried gum on a desk, or the black powder from cleaning a whiteboard, we all have exactly the same image in our minds. I like how you started, with the highlighter, but maybe "gunk" isn't the right word over there? (I use highlighters all the time and know what you're talking about. By the way, if you let the ink dry for a few seconds and then go back to highlight, you can avoid the black smudge.) I think it's more of a stain, or a streak, or something.
ReplyDeleteI like all the other descriptions too: the backpack, the dried gum,the tear-stained glasses, etc. One more thing: maybe "friends" is kind of the "odd one out" in this poem? Everything is a concrete physical item, while friends is something so much broader and harder to describe succinctly. But maybe it's there deliberately: to set the tone of brief, evocative descriptions, and then to treat "friends" the same way. I don't know. But I re-read this poem several times, because I really enjoyed having all these little realities of life coming to mind like that, and knowing that another person notices them just like I do!
Thanks for your insight Malka! really helpful
DeleteThis poem is quite interesting. The descriptions are poignant and relatable. The thing is, and perhaps it is a fault of my own, I don't really understand what you are trying to do. Perhaps the bolding of the first lines throws me off, making me think it's an entirely new poem when it's a continuation.
ReplyDeleteBut perhaps it's just descriptions of familiar little things, in which case, it's lovely and I know it's a weird way of putting it- comfortable. I especially love the crying with glasses on stanza- that hits home.
So maybe I'm just not acquainted with this style and that's why something is not clicking. I'd love to understand it if you're willing to explain it!
I was thinking of it like a group of haiku poems but without the haiku format. But I understand that it is confusing. I was literally highlighting things for a class and was getting annoyed at my highlighter and it progressed from there, so I am also not sure about it
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ReplyDeleteChana, this poem was beautiful. I was really able to both "feel" and experience the vivid images you've effortlessly managed to weave throughout the piece.
ReplyDeleteI particularly like the style of this poem. It's quite unique, compared to the other pieces you've written so far. It did remind me of "Thirteen Views of Jupiter," though. Each stanza stands on its own, though they all seem to join together, giving off a sense of nostalgia to the reader. The stanzas here are related in terms of their subject matter; there's this undercurrent of emotion and authenticity that unifies them all, and I absolutely love it.
I did have a few minor, suggestions. For example, changing a few words in the "High School Backpack" stanza would make for a better fit and add to the musicality of the piece (if that's what you're aiming for):
"With both straps hugging my shoulders
My high school backpack
Was patient with loose lined paper (I wasn't sure if "patient" is the right word here)
And bulky binders.
I’ve since transferred" (I'd change "transferred" to "switched", for the continued effect of the "s" sound.)
Beautiful work:)